The heart feels heavy

Dawned upon me was the thought of being single for life.

While many may argue that it’s not such a bad thing, I choose to believe that I would like to spend the rest of my life with someone rather than being alone.

Then there comes the “oh you have friends! Oh you have family! You’re not going to be alone -inserts smiley face-” while it may be true, but how long can they stay with me?

Friends will form families of their own and I cant possibly just barge into their lives and be like “yo bruh, let me hang with you today? I’m lonely :(” They’ll probably be like “this girl is mental, why are we even friends??” And then they are faced with a moral dilemma of being a good friend and sacrificing family time or being a jerk head rejecting me. So why put them through such pain?

As for family.. I’m sure my parents would like to retire in peace and of course, being asian, they would ultimately wish to 抱孙子 aka to get to see their grandkids while they’re alive. So how am I going to do that while I stay single? Or rather, be unwanted (cause it’s not my choice to stay single 😭)

I’ve been doing the chasing for most of my life. Being rejected, being accepted. I just can’t sit around and wait for my knight in shining armour cause that’s just not me. Life’s too short to be spent waiting for someone to initiate a conversation with you.

Then there’s the “boys are meant to be chasing girls – it’s in their nature” like whottttttt??? I just cannot agree with this? It’s extremely ridiculous that the guy always has to be the one to make the 1st move. But who am I to say anything? People just follow the norm. Which is also why you see people posting mainstream aesthetics photos on instagram and facebook etc instead of showing their true self.

And again, who am I to say anything? Society just works in its funny way.

So as I was saying, I’m afraid of being single for life. Maybe right now it ain’t the time, like my love luck is just empty so I just gotta wait.

Hopefully, my prince does come for me. Or do make him be some really good looking dude with a nice heart. HAHA not happening. But well, just be well dressed, gentlemanly and well spoken in a Singaporean way. That way I might make the 1st move even though I’m really tired of it.

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